R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

"I'm thinking maybe I'm actually gettin' close to finding out who I am..."

Believe me, uttering that line (or anything to it's effects) is not a way to gain my respect.
Tell me that you know who you are. You don't have to know what your purpose on earth is or where you're going in life. Just tell me that you know WHO you are, and I'll respect you. Even hinting that you're not sure who you are makes me believe that you can't know who I am, and if you can't know who I am, I don't want to associate with you, and I certainly don't want to respect you. You can't know other people if you don't know yourself.


"It's my -insert number here- month/year clean today."

NEVER a good way to earn my respect.
Sure, that's cool that you've gone however long you have without using drugs, but the fact that you USED to be addicted to some substance or other isn't cool. Tell me on your deathbed that you haven't touched a single mind-altering substance in your entire life and you'll gain my utmost respect. But if you've still got a lot of livin' to do, and you tell me you've kicked a habit for part of your life, I won't care. You still have time to mess up.


"I haven't eaten meat in -insert number here- months/years."

That's supposed to GAIN my respect?
-insert ticked off look here- Vegetarians/Vegans ANNOY me. It's great that you're doing something about something you believe in, but that's just idiotic. Animals are here for a reason. To feed us and give us nutrition. Being a vegetarian is not a healthy lifestyle, no matter WHAT you say. And either way, they're going to keep killin' the animals (If you even THINK of saying "supply and demand" about that, I'm going to supply my foot up your ass and demand you shut up). So, if you're livin' with other meat-eaters and they throw away a little bit of meat for every time you don't eat, that's a waste of life. Think a little, please.


"I've never talked bad about another person."

Hahahahaha.. Hahahaha... Hahaha.. Haha.. Ohh wow.
I just have somethin' to call you, and it definitely ain't somethin' along the lines of someone who deserves more respect from me...
Liar.


"I've never been tempted by others during my relationship/marriage."

Bigger liar. It's human nature to be attracted to more than one person. If you truthfully say to me that you've been tempted, but have never strayed, THAT will gain my respect, because that takes a lot of strength. Put it this way. You're a dog on a leash. It's only fair to give some slack on that leash, but the second you start pullin' on it, you should be yanked back.


"I take everything I do seriously, and make sure it gets done right and on time."

-swallows back bile-
Tight-ass. Has society sucked every single ounce of fun out of you? Did your mommy refuse you cartoons as a child? Was daddy too busy at work to play games with you? Christ, loosen up. It's awesome that you have responsibilities and that you can get stuff done, but I'm not going to respect you MORE unless you know when the time for fun is.


"I think I have a great sense of humor..."

Oh really? Great sense of humor, you say?
Quick.. What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?... 1: If you didn't know that the answer to that is "Pizza's don't scream in the oven", then you don't have a great sense of humor. & 2: If you found that offensive and not funny AT ALL, you don't have a great sense of humor. If you have even a slightly good sense of humor, you would have found that joke at least a little bit funny. Sure, it's offensive, but offensive jokes are funny. Anyone who has a great sense of humor doesn't need to SAY that they have a great sense of humor. Prove it to me by being funny, or at least by appreciating a good joke, and I'll respect you.



I'm not saying that saying any of the above mentioned things will make me disrespect you, but saying them to try and GAIN my respect is a big mistake. You want to gain my respect? Be yourself. TRULY yourself. Don't try and be what society has told you to be. Don't try to be what you've been taught to be all your life. Don't try to be what you think other people will appreciate and respect. DO NOT try to impress me. Do NOT tell me things that you think will gain my respect. If you have the balls to stand up to me and confidently be yourself and say "Hey, I fuck up sometimes, but I learn from every fuck up I commit. I may not be perfect, and you can't change me. Take me for everything I am, or leave me for what I'm not.", I'll give you all the respect in the world.



DFTBA, it's important,
Kay.